Fell in love at the Walmart

She was standing in the dairy section, next to the sour cream. A thick, weathered woman in her 60s. She looked tough. Like leather. Like she could, and would very much like to, beat the crap out of me.

And I immediately fell in love…with her t-shirt.

It was probably black at one point, but was now closer to gray. It had a picture of a cute little kitty. Wearing a bandana. With (what was probably once a bright red) banner that said Hug Life in Old English font.

I knew I needed it. And not just a shirt like that. That very shirt. That weathered shirt that had been weathered by that weathered woman.

But as soon as it came into my life, the shirt was gone.

So I did the only logical thing: I googled.

I found it instantly. But not exactly. There were shirts with the same cat but a different font. Or with the same font but a different cat. Or the wrong everything all together. I needed that shirt. The lady-at-the-Walmart shirt.

And then I found it. On a Chinese website that seemed sketchy in every possible way.

Should I buy it? No. Definitely not.

But you kinda need it. I don’t need it. Per se. Wait. Do I need it? I kinda think I need it.

But you shouldn’t share your credit card info on a super sketchy site. Definitely not. But…no. I shouldn’t. But…ugh, no.

But I need it. And they have it. And it’s only $8. (Which I know makes it even sketchier.)

Reason prevails. I give up.

For a second.

I search and search and search (and see some really weird cat stuff along the way — like really weird).

And then.

I find it.

Used. Worn but not weathered. (Bummer.)

Thank you, Walmart Woman, for the priceless gift of cat fashion. I think I love you.